Oh, dear Blogger.

The semester is coming to a close, and therefore, my official posts at nlevins.blogspot.com will most likely be terminating shortly. But it's been a lovely ride, hasn't it?

I suppose I'll use this entry to do a little reminiscing about the progress I've made, future-career-wise, in the last three months or so.

Let's see...Back in September, when I started this blog, I was pretty confused as to what I wanted to do with the rest of my life. I've always wanted to write, but the question of in what capacity was up in the air. Upon further consideration, I decided that I was most comfortable with magazine writing, but the field seemed too...above me, I guess. But I eventually made contact with a TCNJ graduate who has a great job at my favorite magazine ever, and she gave me hope that I could someday be in her place.

I also became involved with "unbound," which has been an awesome experience. I'm really impressed with the content of our election issue, and I look forward to seeing what we can put together next semester. Additionally, I'm going to be running for some section editor positions, and I'm excited for that as well.

Over the winter break, I'm going to be working on my JANE internship application. Fairchild finally got back to me, and though most positions are already filled for the upcoming spring semester, I can still try to get in for the summer or fall. Hopefully, my new buddy at JANE can help me out in that department. (That would be freakin' awesome.)

But what I'm worried about is my insecurity. Lately especially, I haven't felt as though I'm good enough for anything, much less to be employed by a major magazine. I mean, sure, my friends say that I'm a good writer, but what do they really know about good writing? (No offense to them- I adore them all, but they're not editors of major magazines or anything.) And what if I am good? Am I good enough? How many students at how many universities have the same goals that I have, want to do the same thing that I want to do, and are good writers to boot? Sometimes I wonder if I'm being too naïve, thinking that I'm any different from any other aspiring writer. Or maybe I'm just disgustingly pessimistic because I've been having such a rough time with personal issues lately.

Anyway, I suck right now, and once I get back to normal, I'll be just as cocky and confident as I once was, and nothing's going to stop me from getting what I want and where I want to be in life.

So the future's not necessarily as dismal as I had thought it would be. As long as I keep up my hard work and persistence, there's a decent chance that I'll be working my dream job. Hopefully.

Keep your fingers crossed that you'll see "Nicole L----s" on a masthead someday.